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50 Shades of Abuse Flyer - Canada
Use, redistribute, print. 
Click image and magnify for large version.


Okay. I understood all the flack Twilight got for being an abusive relationship. Because it was and it was being read by a very young and impressionable audience. But ffs, 50 Shades is an ADULT NOVEL. Iit is about a BDSM couple. Which - newsflash - do exist. It is a completely consensual form of dominate/submissive sex play. The whole concept of domestic violence and abuse is that one side exerts control over an unwilling victim. I don’t recall Anastasia, or whatever she’s called, protesting to Christian’s form of sex. If I remember correctly, she quite enjoyed it! So before you condemn a work of romanticized fiction, actually consider it’s audience and remember that they are mature and capable enough to know the difference between reality and fiction.


so i guess you didn’t read the parts where he coerces her and the part where he continues after she has used her safeword and acts like a fucking creep whenever they aren’t having sex
it is the worst possible introduction to BDSM i could imagine
i know my shit okay


im hoping the people defending this book are 1. never getting into BDSM 2. not currently into BDSM 3. havent read the book bc i dont want to believe anyone is that fucking stupid


Let me
just
fucking
drop
some fucking
knowledge on you right now.
Wanna know the BDSM mantra? Safe, sane, consensual.
So let me explain why this book was devoid of all three of these things.
Safe - In the first few chapters of the novel, Christian Grey tracks Ana’s cell phone to find her at a club. Takes her home when she’s drunk, changes her when she’s so intoxicated she doesn’t remember him doing so,and informs her he will be keeping tabs on her for her own benefit. This is not the behaviour of a respectable Dominant. This is the behaviour of a power hungry, abusive asshole who really can’t take no for an answer.
Sane - One of the most important parts of BDSM is aftercare. Scenes can be extremely traumatizing and intense for the submissive. Aftercare is anything from petting to cuddling to holding to sweet talking, whatever degree of gentleness a bottom would need to pull them out of “subspace”. How does Christian provide aftercare? He submits Ana to a traumatizing first time spanking experience AND THEN FUCKING LEAVES. AND GETS MAD THAT SHE DIDN’T TELL HIM SHE WAS UPSET. He’s the one who should fucking know better! That, again, is not the act of a responsible Dominant. It’s the act of a selfish abuser.
Consensual - Did I mention he undressed her when she was belligerently drunk? Tracked her phone to locate her? He also buys her a new car despite her saying no countless times. Now, consent is important for any kind of sexual activity at all. Consent means informed, consent means enthusiastic. Informed, enthusiastic consent. This is crucial in a BDSM setting. Scenes can be extremely intense, especially for the bottom. What is Christian’s form of obtaining consent? Handing Ana a fucking contract highlighting all the things he wants to do her asshole and asking her to sign it. She was a virgin (Don’t even get me fucking started.) who had never before been exposed to BDSM. Entering in that kind of relationship takes a gargantuan amount of trust and knowledge so you know exactly what you’re getting into. Not reading a list of kinks on a piece of paper and signing your rights to say no away. Christian didn’t offer her resources, he didn’t offer her information. He gave her an ultimatum. That is not the sort of consent a responsible Dom/me would seek from their submissive.
Fuck. This. book. It’s written in a shitty way, it’s a terrible example of a BDSM relationship (ask anybody already involved in the lifestyle and watch them go blue in the face just thinking about it), which is already faced with enough prejudice and misunderstanding, and it romanticizes and glorifies abuse.

Reblogging because relevant

And I believe as far as the contract went, he told her she couldn’t discuss it with her best friend & if she had any questions to Google them. Because Google is 100% accurate.

Firstly, SSC IS NOT THE ONLY MANTRA IN BDSM. Can we /PLEASE/ stop forgetting that RACK exists as well and is just as valid?
Secondly, BDSM IS NOT AN EXCUSE FOR ABUSE.
Period.
Ever.
What is considered an abusive relationship and what are considered abusive behaviors in Vanilla (non BDSM) terms, standards, and relationships IS STILL CONSIDERED AN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP IN D/S TERMS, and both can be just as damaging.
LINK DUMP TIME BITCHES.
Warning Signs of a Predator Dom/me Part 1
Warning Signs of a Predator Dom/me Part 2
When Does Punishment Go Too Far?
Thinking More Clearly About BDSM and Abuse
The Abuse Debate: A matter of Acceptance, Not Consent
A Field Guide to the Creepy Dom
10 Red Flags of A Bad or Abusive Dominant
The Bad kind of Pain
Can I Be Abused in a BDSM Relationship
Assault Is Not OK
Trigger Warnings for abuse, assault, rape, etc.
Now. Let’s get on to the bullshit:

"But ffs, 50 Shades is an ADULT NOVEL. It is about a BDSM couple. Which - newsflash - do exist. It is a completely consensual form of dominate/submissive sex play. The whole concept of domestic violence and abuse is that one side exerts control over an unwilling victim. I don’t recall Anastasia, or whatever she’s called, protesting to Christian’s form of sex. If I remember correctly, she quite enjoyed it! So before you condemn a work of romanticized fiction, actually consider it’s audience and remember that they are mature and capable enough to know the difference between reality and fiction."

1. It being an adult erotica novel makes absolutely NO fucking difference. In fact, as an adult, the author should have known better and should have known to do her fucking research- which she did not.
In fact, there’s a FAR better example of Fictional Adult BDSM literature out there called Sunstone. Here’s the funny part though: Both SS and FFoG were both written by people uninvolved in and heavily removed from the BDSM community (which we call “Vanillas”). Except the author of Sunstone managed to do enough research to get it RIGHT and produce an amazing, well thought out, subculture accurate graphic novel…. And the author of FSoG managed to produce a steaming, inaccurate, completely abusive pile of shit.
Even better? The author of of SS even manages to accurately talk about and illustrate important topics in BDSM relationships like abuse, subdrop, and similar problems, WITHOUT CONDONING THEM, AND WHILE POINTING OUT HOW HARMFUL THEY CAN BE. FSoG on the other hand DOES NOT DO THIS AND INSTEAD ENCOURAGES AND ROMANTICIZES THEM.
So don’t give me that “oh it’s an adult fictional BDSM erotic novel!!!” tripe when there are actually perfect examples of how to do “Adult Fictional BDSM Erotica” CORRECTLY AND IN A MANNER THAT DOES NOT ROMANTICIZE OR EXCUSE ABUSIVE BEHAVIORS AND RELATIONSHIPS.
2. “The whole concept of domestic violence and abuse is that one side exerts control over an unwilling victim”. 
That is an inaccurate representation of Domestic violence and abuse. Abuse may also sometimes involve manipulation, coercion, refusing resources, controlling behaviors, random and unpredictable (sometimes violent) mood swings, etc.
Physical abuse IS NOT THE ONLY FORM OF ABUSE THAT ONE MAY EXPERIENCE OR ENCOUNTER. Psychological Abuse, Emotional Abuse, and Verbal Abuse ALSO EXIST AND ARE JUST AS DAMAGING. 
Furthermore? Not all victims are aware, at the time, that they are being abused- I wasn’t in the first 3 abusive relationships I found myself in until I learned how to recognize the signs.
3. “So before you condemn a work of romanticized fiction”
THAT IS LITERALLY THE FUCKING PROBLEM. THIS IS FICTIONAL ABUSE. IT IS ROMANTICIZED FICTIONAL ABUSE THAT ANYONE EVEN REMOTELY INVOLVED IN THE BDSM COMMUNITY KNOWS IS FUCKING ABUSE.
4. “actually consider it’s audience and remember that they are mature and capable enough to know the difference between reality and fiction.”
To those who are uneducated about BDSM IT IS DANGEROUS MATERIAL BECAUSE IT NOT ONLY ROMANTICIZES THIS ABUSE AND PASSES IT OFF AS ACCEPTABLE “BECAUSE IT’S BDSM”, IT ALSO REINFORCES PRE-EXISTING NEGATIVE STEREOTYPES ABOUT THE FUCKING COMMUNITY AND LIFESTYLE.
Someone being a fucking ADULT doesn’t make a goddamned lick of difference when they are uneducated about a subject and a book romanticizes it into being the norm and/or acceptable.

Speaking as a member of the community who has been seriously injured due to an asshole reading this book and thinking that it was appropriate behavior, and who knows girls who were taken advantage of by abusers because of this book, FUCK anyone who tries to write off the disgusting and inaccurate portrayal of BDSM in this story.
Also, I distinctly remember Ana saying NO to that first spanking experience and Christian ignoring her. CG is an abusive fuckwad who takes advantage of an innocent girl and then tries to justify his bullshit with his traumatic past (because past abuse ALWAYS justifies becoming an abuser).
And Ana is not off the hook either. She fucking MARRIES the guy who abuses her. And even on their honeymoon, he ignores her when she says no to things. (That was the point I stopped reading). She signed the contract even while having little understanding of it (and, oh, yeah. IT’S ILLEGAL TO PREVENT SOMEONE FROM CONTACTING A LAWYER REGARDING BUSINESS CONTRACTS IN THE US, AND THE AGREEMENT SHE SIGNS IS LEGALLY A BUSINESS CONTRACT; SHE IS RECEIVING COMPENSATION IN EXCHANGE FOR BEING HIS SLAVE AND THEREFORE SHE WAS LEGALLY ALLOWED TO DISCUSS THINGS WITH A LAWYER AND HE VIOLATED THAT RIGHT) and even after she leaves him, she decides “I can change him!” and goes back.
There are a million things wrong with this fucking series.
~Persephone

greekgodsforsocialjustice:

likeclockworkcircles:

the-gypsy-writer:

fiftyshadesofsnark:

bonerack:

princessnecrophilia:

weeaboo-chan:

vhscars:

protest-resources:

50 Shades of Abuse Flyer - Canada

Use, redistribute, print. 

Click image and magnify for large version.

Okay. I understood all the flack Twilight got for being an abusive relationship. Because it was and it was being read by a very young and impressionable audience. But ffs, 50 Shades is an ADULT NOVEL. Iit is about a BDSM couple. Which - newsflash - do exist. It is a completely consensual form of dominate/submissive sex play. The whole concept of domestic violence and abuse is that one side exerts control over an unwilling victim. I don’t recall Anastasia, or whatever she’s called, protesting to Christian’s form of sex. If I remember correctly, she quite enjoyed it! So before you condemn a work of romanticized fiction, actually consider it’s audience and remember that they are mature and capable enough to know the difference between reality and fiction.

so i guess you didn’t read the parts where he coerces her and the part where he continues after she has used her safeword and acts like a fucking creep whenever they aren’t having sex

it is the worst possible introduction to BDSM i could imagine

i know my shit okay

im hoping the people defending this book are 1. never getting into BDSM 2. not currently into BDSM 3. havent read the book bc i dont want to believe anyone is that fucking stupid

Let me

just

fucking

drop

some fucking

knowledge on you right now.

Wanna know the BDSM mantra? Safe, sane, consensual.

So let me explain why this book was devoid of all three of these things.

Safe - In the first few chapters of the novel, Christian Grey tracks Ana’s cell phone to find her at a club. Takes her home when she’s drunk, changes her when she’s so intoxicated she doesn’t remember him doing so,and informs her he will be keeping tabs on her for her own benefit. This is not the behaviour of a respectable Dominant. This is the behaviour of a power hungry, abusive asshole who really can’t take no for an answer.

Sane - One of the most important parts of BDSM is aftercare. Scenes can be extremely traumatizing and intense for the submissive. Aftercare is anything from petting to cuddling to holding to sweet talking, whatever degree of gentleness a bottom would need to pull them out of “subspace”. How does Christian provide aftercare? He submits Ana to a traumatizing first time spanking experience AND THEN FUCKING LEAVES. AND GETS MAD THAT SHE DIDN’T TELL HIM SHE WAS UPSET. He’s the one who should fucking know better! That, again, is not the act of a responsible Dominant. It’s the act of a selfish abuser.

Consensual - Did I mention he undressed her when she was belligerently drunk? Tracked her phone to locate her? He also buys her a new car despite her saying no countless times. Now, consent is important for any kind of sexual activity at all. Consent means informed, consent means enthusiastic. Informed, enthusiastic consent. This is crucial in a BDSM setting. Scenes can be extremely intense, especially for the bottom. What is Christian’s form of obtaining consent? Handing Ana a fucking contract highlighting all the things he wants to do her asshole and asking her to sign it. She was a virgin (Don’t even get me fucking started.) who had never before been exposed to BDSM. Entering in that kind of relationship takes a gargantuan amount of trust and knowledge so you know exactly what you’re getting into. Not reading a list of kinks on a piece of paper and signing your rights to say no away. Christian didn’t offer her resources, he didn’t offer her information. He gave her an ultimatum. That is not the sort of consent a responsible Dom/me would seek from their submissive.

Fuck. This. book. It’s written in a shitty way, it’s a terrible example of a BDSM relationship (ask anybody already involved in the lifestyle and watch them go blue in the face just thinking about it), which is already faced with enough prejudice and misunderstanding, and it romanticizes and glorifies abuse.

Reblogging because relevant

And I believe as far as the contract went, he told her she couldn’t discuss it with her best friend & if she had any questions to Google them. Because Google is 100% accurate.

Firstly, SSC IS NOT THE ONLY MANTRA IN BDSM. Can we /PLEASE/ stop forgetting that RACK exists as well and is just as valid?

Secondly, BDSM IS NOT AN EXCUSE FOR ABUSE.

Period.

Ever.

What is considered an abusive relationship and what are considered abusive behaviors in Vanilla (non BDSM) terms, standards, and relationships IS STILL CONSIDERED AN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP IN D/S TERMS, and both can be just as damaging.

LINK DUMP TIME BITCHES.

Trigger Warnings for abuse, assault, rape, etc.

Now. Let’s get on to the bullshit:

"But ffs, 50 Shades is an ADULT NOVEL. It is about a BDSM couple. Which - newsflash - do exist. It is a completely consensual form of dominate/submissive sex play. The whole concept of domestic violence and abuse is that one side exerts control over an unwilling victim. I don’t recall Anastasia, or whatever she’s called, protesting to Christian’s form of sex. If I remember correctly, she quite enjoyed it! So before you condemn a work of romanticized fiction, actually consider it’s audience and remember that they are mature and capable enough to know the difference between reality and fiction."

1. It being an adult erotica novel makes absolutely NO fucking difference. In fact, as an adult, the author should have known better and should have known to do her fucking research- which she did not.

In fact, there’s a FAR better example of Fictional Adult BDSM literature out there called Sunstone. Here’s the funny part though: Both SS and FFoG were both written by people uninvolved in and heavily removed from the BDSM community (which we call “Vanillas”). Except the author of Sunstone managed to do enough research to get it RIGHT and produce an amazing, well thought out, subculture accurate graphic novel…. And the author of FSoG managed to produce a steaming, inaccurate, completely abusive pile of shit.

Even better? The author of of SS even manages to accurately talk about and illustrate important topics in BDSM relationships like abuse, subdrop, and similar problems, WITHOUT CONDONING THEM, AND WHILE POINTING OUT HOW HARMFUL THEY CAN BE. FSoG on the other hand DOES NOT DO THIS AND INSTEAD ENCOURAGES AND ROMANTICIZES THEM.

So don’t give me that “oh it’s an adult fictional BDSM erotic novel!!!” tripe when there are actually perfect examples of how to do “Adult Fictional BDSM Erotica” CORRECTLY AND IN A MANNER THAT DOES NOT ROMANTICIZE OR EXCUSE ABUSIVE BEHAVIORS AND RELATIONSHIPS.

2.The whole concept of domestic violence and abuse is that one side exerts control over an unwilling victim”.

That is an inaccurate representation of Domestic violence and abuse. Abuse may also sometimes involve manipulation, coercion, refusing resources, controlling behaviors, random and unpredictable (sometimes violent) mood swings, etc.

Physical abuse IS NOT THE ONLY FORM OF ABUSE THAT ONE MAY EXPERIENCE OR ENCOUNTER. Psychological Abuse, Emotional Abuse, and Verbal Abuse ALSO EXIST AND ARE JUST AS DAMAGING. 

Furthermore? Not all victims are aware, at the time, that they are being abused- I wasn’t in the first 3 abusive relationships I found myself in until I learned how to recognize the signs.

3.So before you condemn a work of romanticized fiction

THAT IS LITERALLY THE FUCKING PROBLEM. THIS IS FICTIONAL ABUSE. IT IS ROMANTICIZED FICTIONAL ABUSE THAT ANYONE EVEN REMOTELY INVOLVED IN THE BDSM COMMUNITY KNOWS IS FUCKING ABUSE.

4.actually consider it’s audience and remember that they are mature and capable enough to know the difference between reality and fiction.

To those who are uneducated about BDSM IT IS DANGEROUS MATERIAL BECAUSE IT NOT ONLY ROMANTICIZES THIS ABUSE AND PASSES IT OFF AS ACCEPTABLE “BECAUSE IT’S BDSM”, IT ALSO REINFORCES PRE-EXISTING NEGATIVE STEREOTYPES ABOUT THE FUCKING COMMUNITY AND LIFESTYLE.

Someone being a fucking ADULT doesn’t make a goddamned lick of difference when they are uneducated about a subject and a book romanticizes it into being the norm and/or acceptable.

Speaking as a member of the community who has been seriously injured due to an asshole reading this book and thinking that it was appropriate behavior, and who knows girls who were taken advantage of by abusers because of this book, FUCK anyone who tries to write off the disgusting and inaccurate portrayal of BDSM in this story.

Also, I distinctly remember Ana saying NO to that first spanking experience and Christian ignoring her. CG is an abusive fuckwad who takes advantage of an innocent girl and then tries to justify his bullshit with his traumatic past (because past abuse ALWAYS justifies becoming an abuser).

And Ana is not off the hook either. She fucking MARRIES the guy who abuses her. And even on their honeymoon, he ignores her when she says no to things. (That was the point I stopped reading). She signed the contract even while having little understanding of it (and, oh, yeah. IT’S ILLEGAL TO PREVENT SOMEONE FROM CONTACTING A LAWYER REGARDING BUSINESS CONTRACTS IN THE US, AND THE AGREEMENT SHE SIGNS IS LEGALLY A BUSINESS CONTRACT; SHE IS RECEIVING COMPENSATION IN EXCHANGE FOR BEING HIS SLAVE AND THEREFORE SHE WAS LEGALLY ALLOWED TO DISCUSS THINGS WITH A LAWYER AND HE VIOLATED THAT RIGHT) and even after she leaves him, she decides “I can change him!” and goes back.

There are a million things wrong with this fucking series.

~Persephone

vulcanyounot:

things we need more of in media

  • female gaze
  • female gays

thank you for your time

d0cpr0fess0r:

im-just-bad-at-metaphors:

magicalkingdomofdisney:

itsthefangirlwholived:

brookeeverdeen:

when you get your period at school

image

Conceal don’t feel don’t let them know

Make one wrong move and then the blood will show

Let it flow, let it flow, can’t hold it back anymore

SUPERNATURAL: Why so sad?
ME: You know why
SUPERNATURAL: Don't be sad...
ME: ...
SUPERNATURAL: Here's a new character
ME: ...
SUPERNATURAL: Don't you like the new character?
ME: No. I don't want to.
SUPERNATURAL: Why not?
ME: Oh don't pretend you don't know.
SUPERNATURAL: It's not gonna be like last time
ME: Yeah right
SUPERNATURAL: I swear
ME: Whatever
SUPERNATURAL: Come on, it's okay, go ahead and like the new character
ME: I don't think I can go through that a--
SUPERNATURAL: Look at that great personality
SUPERNATURAL: Oh pretty too
SUPERNATURAL: Great chemistry with the boys
ME: Well, I guess I could--
SUPERNATURAL: Oh wow totes kicks ass and totes three-dimensional
SUPERNATURAL: Such great promise for the storyline
ME: OH MY GOD THIS CHARACTER'S GREAT
SUPERNATURAL: Are you in love yet?
ME: Uhh
SUPERNATURAL: Well?
ME: I'm not sure...
SUPERNATURAL: Look at that really touching back story
SUPERNATURAL: Doesn't that make you want to cry but in a good way?
ME: ...yeah
SUPERNATURAL: You can totally relate, huh?
ME: Yes...
SUPERNATURAL: Are you in love yet?
ME: Mhmm
SUPERNATURAL: Say it
SUPERNATURAL: Come on, admit it
SUPERNATURAL: DECLARE IT
ME: OKAY FINE! I LOVE THIS CHARACTER SO MUCH I WANT TO WRAP IT IN A WARM BLANKET AND GIVE IT A CUP OF HOT CHOCOLATE!
SUPERNATURAL: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! FANTASTIC
ME: YOU'RE BRILLIANT! THANK YOU FOR BRINGING THIS CHARACTER INTO MY LIFE
SUPERNATURAL: Yeah I'm killing it off
ME: WHAT?
SUPERNATURAL: I'm not even going to give it a proper send off.
ME: YOU'RE JOKING RIGHT?
SUPERNATURAL: Just a quick meaningless death.
ME: NO. YOU CAN'T JUST--
SUPERNATURAL: Yep. It's dead.
SUPERNATURAL: I'm probably not gonna resurrect it, just fyi

teenscoolest:

i’m not an idiot i just tired of being normal for too long

sandandglass:

Lisa Simpson, The Simpsons, 1991.

nepetalast:

sheyna-sterling:

pissy-little-aquarius:

why are parents allowed to yell and scream at their children and call them names and just make them feel like shit in general…

but when kids try to defend themselves…. its disrespectful?

what kind of fucking shit parents do you have

is this a new thing to you

somnifik:

"be yourself"

what even is that?

youngvlcanoes:

You really don’t have to but it would mean so much to me if you did - and if you message me that you did I would be happy to follow you on on here or any social media sites, or reblog/like anything for you, or even make you a theme
I love you guys x

youngvlcanoes:

You really don’t have to but it would mean so much to me if you did - and if you message me that you did I would be happy to follow you on on here or any social media sites, or reblog/like anything for you, or even make you a theme

I love you guys x

compliment:

do you ever want to talk about someone with your friend but they are friends too

Don’t be alone, Doctor

jewist:

Guys this no-kill animal shelter in Illinois, USA is going to be shut down unless the raise $5,000 by August 1st which is in 3 days. They have raised $3,320 so far but are still not at their goal. PLEASE donate any amount of money to help keep this no-kill shelter alive. And please reblog this post to spread the word.

Here is a link to where you can donate:
http://www.youcaring.com/pet-expenses/newton-county-dogs/208762

epic-humor:

will do anything for foood